Guest post by Prana Regina Barrett, B.S., M.I.A., E.R.Y.T, C.Y.T., author of Lighter: Living Tantra

~ On my way home from my qi gong lesson, I parked my car and began walking toward my house. I saw a man in his mid-30s walking toward me holding a black-eyed Susan. He looked at the flower, spinning it in his hand. He looked at me and pushed the flower through the air toward me and said, “This is for you.” I smiled, took the flower and thanked him. He continued on his way. There was no flirtation between us: just pure love and gratitude. His act of kindness came from a pure, childlike place in his heart. He made my day. This is Tantra. ~

A Solo Practice Foundation

I highly recommend a dedicated solo practice both before and while sharing energy with another person. I believe this is the best way to come into connection with others, feeling whole.

It is during solo practice that one can feel the full spectrum of the transformational and healing benefits of movement, sound and meditation practices.

When yoga became popular in the Western world, I recall discussions with people from India who, over and over again, shared that yoga was done as a solo practice in the home and was very private.

Today, in my practice, I realize why. It is because when taking the time to be alone and come into union with body, mind and spirit — the spirit of oneness — we can have a one-on-one relationship with God (or Goddess, Spirit, the Universe, Higher Power, Inner Wisdom). In this state of oneness, it is possible to experience all that is divine surrounding us, and within us.

Create time for your solo practice. Designate an area in your home that is kept clean, clear and free of distractions. Fill it with decor that inspires and relaxes you. Decide on a regular time that fits into your schedule. First thing in the morning tends to be the best time, before you get pulled into other projects. Your body, mind and spirit will love the routine.

For ideas for your solo practice, take regular classes and study with a master teacher of your choice. You can also use DVDs and podcasts to get ideas. Lie in savasana, close your eyes, breathe and do the poses, movements, meditations or chants that come to your mind’s eye.

Coming Into Connection with Another

When practicing Tantra, one’s energy field becomes lighter. This lightness results in a heightening of sensation. Come to a Tantra practice partner when you are grounded, clean and clear. From your highest place, I invite you to choose a partner (which may be the partner you are already with) by using clear and loving communication. You will most likely feel drawn to someone who might be open to such practices.

Ask that person if they are interested in exploring Tantra with you and discuss how you each see that unfolding.  Will you simply practice together or are you exploring something deeper?  In either case, be clear about how you would like your practice sessions to unfold.  Would you like to create sacred space?  Where will this be?  What do you consider to be sacred space?  Describe the room.  Will there be music or no music?  Candles?  Scents?  Surprises?

Discuss your preferences, if you have any, and also what you would prefer not to have present.  For example, will your time include discussions about work?  Will it include laughter, massage (share what body parts need attention beforehand so you can be present), intercourse or not, a check-in, talk of money, talk about children, trust, breathing, eye gazing, chanting, etc.

Eye Gazing 

Eye gazing is a simple practice that deepens intimacy and connection.  It can be done with anyone you come in contact with, simply by giving eye contact.  It can also be done in a deeper way with your practice partner.  It is the gateway to the soul.

Come together sitting in front of one another knees to knees (cross-legged).  Prop pillows under your bottom and sit on the edge of your pillows.  You can also sit in chairs if this helps to align your spine (helpful if your hamstrings are tight).  Lower your knees until they are lower than your hips.  Inhale and lengthen your spine.  Imagine a string pulling the top of your head toward the Sky.  Exhale and lengthen your tailbone toward the Earth.  Imagine your tailbone reaching to the heart of the Earth.  Feel your sits bones on your pillow.  As Elysabeth Williamson of Principle-Based Partner Yoga suggests, imagine your pelvis is like an upside down teacup, slightly suctioning the Earth’s surface.

With internal awareness, begin to notice your breath.  Take a few falling-out breaths.  Inhale through the nose and exhale out the mouth with the mouth slightly open and the jaw soft.  Let the exhale fall out with a sound, a low tone or a sigh.  With each exhale, release thoughts of the past or any future plans.  With each inhale, become more present in this moment for your partner practice.

Once centered, begin to raise your eyes and notice your partner sitting across from you.  Soften your gaze so 50% of your awareness is on yourself and 50% of your awareness is on your partner.  Always feel your connection to yourself and the Earth.  If you feel you are moving too far out of your center, close your eyes and re-center yourself.

Some say the eyes are the gateway to the soul.  Science now shows that the eyes do connect to neural pathways that hold memories of the past.  You may see indications of past memories in your partner’s eyes.  Hold your partner in compassion as you see where they have come from.

Now, I invite you to notice your partner in this moment.  Who they are now?

Finally, notice their fullest potential.  Who they are becoming as they transform?

Eye Contact 

When you greet your partner, your neighbor or your coworker, notice if you are looking them directly in the eyes.  If not, can you breathe into your next greeting and do so?  Notice if you feel a different level of connection after eye contact.

The grounding and lifestyle practices shared throughout Prana’s book Lighter: Living Tantra will help you to remain centered and balanced as you embark on a Tantra lifestyle. Her book can be purchased at http://tantratolove.com/lighter-living-tantra-book/.

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I am beauty, bright sky, and deep, dark waters.
I am mystery.

Come.
I am calling you.
I gave birth to this universe,
birth to you,
and birth to all that surrounds you.
You are of my body,
and to me you will return.

When you love you are loving my body,
When you sing you are singing my song,
When you dance you are dancing my ecstasy.

I am your joy, your pleasure, your celebration.
Let my light shine through you,
pure and strong.
Be tender, playful, reverent, and bold.

Befriend also the dark (my friend),
Surrender to the unknown (my path),
Be still in the mystery (my truth).
In this way you will know me.

Dear One, I am always with you,
from the beginning till the end.
In your journey you are never alone.
Dive into your soul
deeper than you ever imagined.
Follow your heart
to the end of desire.
You will meet me there.

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As I write it’s early morning on the day of the New Moon. The sun is just rising over the mountain, beginning to shine into my eyes. Yesterday was Equinox, and my husband and I burned little scraps of paper with all the activities and mindstuff we’re releasing from the past season.

I’ve sat in this exact spot the past week at this same time before sunrise, watching the New Moon crescent slowly shrink day by day. And today, there was no Moon. As we enter the vortex of New Moon, She will be invisible to the eye for 3 full days and nights.

The time between Equinox and New Moon draws us into deep quiet and a clear sense of waiting. There is attention, watching and listening. What does Spirit want to bring? What insights of the world beyond want to whisper their hidden secrets?

In many ways life is a series of endings and new beginnings. Just as the Moon wanes and waxes, and the days grow shorter and then longer, our lives too are constantly in transition. We are constantly saying goodbye to someone ~ or something.

A friend, colleague or teammate is moving on. An old part of us, an old attitude or behavior that no longer serves is being released. We may be physically moving our home (a big event!) or metaphorically changing our perspective by releasing unhelpful thought patterns (no less important!). This cleaning out prepares us for new blessings of wisdom and insight.

This is why the Vedic tradition has always held such transition points as sacred times for meditation. In Sanskrit they are called “Sandhya,” those meeting points between night and day, dark and light, ending and beginning.

Literally “Sandhya” means twilight. Twilight is a powerful time to honor the continuity of our lives, to give gratitude for another day in which to learn and serve, and to open to the wisdom that the Divine has to offer us.

A similar phenomenon happens in the transition of the season from Summer to Fall. As one season ends and another begins, there is an opportunity to reflect deeply on our direction in life, and to choose our course for the upcoming period.

Here are 5 tips for imbibing this season of Equinox, New Moon, and Navaratri (the nine-night festival of the Goddess which starts on this New Moon):

1. At sunset, walk to a place where you can greet the New Moon. Starting Thursday evening, you will be able to see her slight shape in the West, gradually growing stronger each night. Special note: If you look for the Moon tonight (Tuesday, September 23) or tomorrow (Wednesday, September 24) enjoy the feeling of emptiness and anticipation created as you silently wait for the Moon to reappear.

2. Rest in the feeling of balance created by this season of Equinox. Be aware of the moderate temperature, moderate amount of daylight, and the ease that this creates for your activities and work.

3. Recognize what you are releasing as this season of Summer ends, and what you are opening to as Fall begins. Write what you are releasing on small slips of paper, and burn them in a small pot after sunset using a candle.

4. On a separate day, write your new prayers and intentions for the Fall. Hold these in your heart as you watch the New Moon grow stronger over the next 2 weeks, gradually reaching fullness on October 8.

5. Remember the Goddess in your heart during this season of Navaratri. As we transition from light to dark and back again, She is there in all of that, holding us tenderly, celebrating new beginnings and joys, and honoring release and surrender. Hold this awareness in your heart as you meditate at this time.

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When I was approached by the Shift Network, a company whose values I highly respect, to partner with them as host of the upcoming Future of Yoga Summit, my first inner response was yes. My heart knew I was in.

But on another level, I was scared. Did I have the time for this? Was I up to the increased visibility it would bring? Could I maintain my own ~ my personal balance, my commitment to my truth, my commitment to women and Divine Feminine Yoga ~ even while partnering with a company owned by a guy?

After thoughtful exploration and several conversations with the staff at Shift, and after consulting my own inner and outer guides, I decided to go for it. I launched into the project with enthusiasm and gratitude. It has been wonderful to work with such a well-oiled team!

And as I approach the first interviews, I continue to get quivers. Can you relate? Every time we launch into a new phase of our growth, there is the opportunity for self-doubt.

But equally present is the opportunity for trust! What a beautiful quality of the Goddess to cultivate.

Yes, we do have to show up and do the work, but along with that, we can trust that we are being divinely guided, trust that our heart will lead us the way we need to go, trust that we wouldn’t have been given this opportunity if we weren’t ready.

While we do sometimes choose to say no (I said no to a similar opportunity at about the same time), when we are clear that a project is right for us, it’s good to relax and let Spirit do the heavy lifting.

When we soften into our deeper readiness ~ years of personal practice, related previous experience, and yes, the support of angels ~ those angels come forward to meet us with heartfelt messages, surprise helpers, friends, and clarity, exactly when we need them.

What about you. Are YOU ready? Here are some journaling questions to support your self-reflection:

~ What opportunities are in front of you to develop a deeper level of trust?

~ In what ways are you perfectly ready for your next big project?

~ How can you let your angels know you welcome their guidance?

~ What opportunities have you have been hesitating to accept?

~ What is holding you back?

~ What exploration do you need to do to decide whether this opportunity is right for you?

~ What are you willing to let go of to become ready?

Take some time in meditation to check in with your inner guidance, and trust what you find there. The universe is on your side!

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I work with women who are yoga teachers and other sacred entrepreneurs ~ many of whom have been expressing to me how crazy their lives feel recently. I feel it too!

It’s hard to grow a sacred business or nurture a family when faced with such a topsy turvy world.

So I shot a quick video for you this morning addressing this challenge. (You’ll also get to see the view from my new back porch!)

Watch the video now: Click here.

Meditation is one of the best tools I know to get grounded in our bodies and hearts, and to be able to face whatever the day brings with love and equanimity.

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“I feel like a nursing mother,” I said to my happiness coach. “Interesting,” she said. “Can you tell me more about that?” Let     me     try. I wake in the middle of the night, again and again and offer milk to the universe, … Continue reading →

I thought you’d like to see where I do my morning practice.

I LOVE to get into my body in the mornings, but before that, I often do something else first…

Watch now: Click here.

Find out the #1 practice that has sustained me through good times and bad, new projects and tremendous personal growth, and even divorce and business losses. It even keeps me pretty happy!

Happy New Moon!

• Do you have big goals for 2014?
• Do you have a secret dream you would love to achieve but are afraid to commit to ~ for fear of falling short?

Setting goals takes courage. Research shows that people who write their goals down are much more likely to achieve them than people who don’t. Sharing your goals with a buddy or accountability group increases the likelihood of achieving them even more.

Yet many women (and men) I know are afraid to commit their goals to paper, let alone another person. What if they don’t achieve them? Would that mean they were a failure?

Even declaring a goal to oneself privately can be problematic. If we set our goals high, are we being egotistical? Is it ok to be ambitious and to have big dreams ~ or is that being immodest, un-yogic?

Whether your goals are for business, health, family, or life purpose, the same principle holds true. Setting goals takes courage ~ and calls on us to maintain our inner peace in the face of both hope and dread. We secretly hope to achieve our wildest dreams, yet dread the possibility of failing miserably.

Here are 3 tips for maintaining equanimity in goal setting ~ and maximizing your potential for success!

1. Ask the Goddess to help you set your goals. Set aside dedicated time for meditation, prayer, and journaling on your goals. Let the mind get quiet, and ask the deepest wisdom place within you, that space of true clarity, what goals the Goddess wants for you this year. Be receptive and listen, then write what you hear without fear.

2. Ground your goals. For each goal, list actions that could move you in a sober manner toward the desired outcome. Build the structure to reach your goals one step at a time. If you are not clear on the skills and strategies needed to reach your goal, stay open to finding support, training, or a guide to assist you.

3. Surrender the outcome. Take action on your goal, and then release the results. As the Bhagavad Gita teaches, we may claim actions as our own, but never the results of those actions. The results belong to God/Goddess. We are not in charge of the universe and can never know the timing that will best serve our growth.

Sometimes we just need to surrender to the possibility of a miracle, then watch it unfold. Some goals will be achieved much more quickly and easily than we could have ever imagined.

Other goals will come to fruition much more slowly than expected. This can be painful, especially for a goal that is deeply desired. As much as I may not wish for a goal to manifest slowly, I have found that many gifts hide in the slower process. Had I achieved my goal more quickly, I would have missed out on that growth!

So if a goal comes slowly, get curious about the deeper lesson. What do you need to shift inside in order to achieve that goal? Who do you need to become in order to receive its fulfillment?

The bigger your dreams, the bigger the hope and the greater the dread. The grander your dreams and schemes, the more important it is to stay grounded in spiritual principles while working to achieve them.

If you have big dreams this year ~ good for you! I’m sure the Goddess has given you this inner fire. Plan to support yourself well with community; friends; a mentor, teacher, or coach; and lots of spiritual practice.

There’s nothing un-yogic about big dreams. The Goddess does NOT want you to play small. As Marianne Williamson has famously said, “We are all meant to shine, as children do.”

I’m wishing you well with your dreams. May you be as innocent and shining as a child!

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Live events range from local workshops to far-flung retreats. As yoga teachers or conscious healers, most of us are growing our business alone. It’s so important to have peers and a learning community for support, and live events provide that.

The key benefit of a live event is a major up-leveling in consciousness! I always find I make a quantum leap in some key area when I go out of my way to attend an event I’m drawn to.

(In Bali this year it’s been the benefits of laughter and giggling for business. More about that when you attend my retreat!)

Other benefits include learning new skills and concepts; forming friendships, partnerships, and strategic alliances; absorbing the core message of the teacher more deeply; hearing something in a new way; and more. For some of you, attending a conference or workshop might even be a great way to connect with future students!

At the same time, attending live events can be scary or overwhelming. When I was founding the Green Yoga Association, I knew I needed to attend many conferences ~ and so I did ~ but I really didn’t like it! I was so nervous I often had trouble falling asleep the night before.

Now I’m much more comfortable, and I usually sleep like a baby before and during a conference. (Thank goodness!)

Here are my top ten tips for fully enjoying and soaking in the benefits of a live workshop, retreat, or conference.

1. Arrive early. Allow extra time to travel so that if something goes wrong it’s not a problem. Arriving early also makes it easier to connect and make friends when others most want to do the same.

2. Don’t be afraid to go alone. Some of us feel shy to attend major conferences alone, but going it solo can make you that much more open to new connections.

3. Be curious and friendly. Take an interest in others, and attend the event with a sense of adventure ~ who will the Goddess put in your path for you to meet?

4. Carry a pen and little pad of paper everywhere you go. Yes, it’s great to take biz cards for connecting, but even more important to be able to jot down contact info for that new friend or potential referral partner who forgot hers!

5. Go with the heart and mind of an eager learner. Sit near the front, take notes, be attentive, and ask questions as appropriate. What a sacred opportunity to be with your teacher in person! Take advantage of every moment.

6. Take time alone each day. How much solo time do you need? Even a short walk or a nap in the afternoon could make a big difference in how refreshed you feel later in the day.

7. Get enough sleep. Changing time zones or long travel can make this difficult. All the more reason to plan ahead for those extra zzz’s so you’re well rested the next day.

8. Plan to make it easy for yourself. Carry any special snacks you’ll need, schedule a day off for when you return home, and don’t be afraid to splurge on a private room if that will serve you best. The cost of travel and attendance probably far outweigh any extra expense here and are well worth it.

9. Follow up! Don’t let those contact lists pile up in a drawer. Reach out within a few days. This lets people know you’re serious about connecting.

10. Absorb what you learned. Take time to review your notes, and integrate what you learned into upcoming plans and classes.

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Goddess Kali represents the energy of loss and destruction. Among the many faces of the Divine Feminine, Hers is one of the most fearsome.

Kali is shown wearing a necklace of severed heads, her tongue outstretched, her hair wild and unruly. She holds an additional severed head by the hair, blood dripping from the neck of her unlucky victim.

Kali’s bloodthirsty nature actually holds a hidden gift ~ the power to liberate us from the shackles of our own mind! The severed heads around her neck symbolize our many limiting beliefs and samskaras. Her great knife symbolizes the power to free us completely from these beliefs, and to bring us to a new state of creativity and ecstasy. This is why we also see Goddess Kali dancing!

So often we resist Kali’s messages and lessons. It’s not fun when we come up against the small thoughts of our ego, those “I can’ts” or “I’m not good enoughs.” They can be very believable, even seemingly reasonable. But when we take the opportunity to dance with Kali, and to examine our limiting beliefs in the light of consciousness, shift and freedom await us on the other side!

Kali’s lessons may come to us also in big ways, such as when we experience the loss of a familiar job, a beautiful home, a cherished identity, or even a loved one. Ouch! These losses are painful, and not usually experiences we seek.

In those moments, Kali asks us to release the resistance and surrender. This is Ma Kali, the great Mother, lovingly taking us by the hand. Gradually, with the help of our communities and the Goddess herself, we can find readiness to open to what is waiting on the other side ~ great release, great rebirth ~ yes, even ecstasy.

Journaling Questions on Goddess Kali

1) In my journey as a teacher or healer, what are the limiting beliefs or self-doubts that I am ready to release?

2) Where am I experiencing Kali’s darkness or destruction in my own life?

3) What new bliss and freedom does the Goddess want for me? What is the Goddess trying to birth through me into the world?

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